| This is reported by a
graduate of the University of Oklahoma School of Chemical
Engineering, citing one of Dr. Schlambaugh's final test questions
for his final exam of 1997. Dr. Schlambaugh is known for asking
questions like this one on his final exam, "Why do airplanes
fly?" In May 1997, the Momentum,
Heat and Mass Transfer II final exam question was, "Is hell
exothermic or endothermic? Support your answer with proof."
Most of the students wrote proofs of
their beliefs using Boyle's Laws or some variant. One student,
however, wrote the following:
First, we postulate that if souls exist,
they must have some mass. If they do, then a mole of souls also
must have a mass. So at what rate are souls moving into hell and
at what rate are souls leaving? I think we can safely assume that
once a soul gets to hell it does not leave. Therefore, no souls
are leaving. As for souls entering hell, let's look at the
different religions that exist in the world today. Some of the
religions state that if you are not a member of their religion,
you will go to hell. Since there are more than one of these
religions and people do not belong to more than one religion, we
can project that all people and all souls go to hell. With the
birth and death rates what they are, we can expect the number of
souls in hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate
of the change in the volume in hell. Boyle's Law states that in
order for the temperature and pressure in hell to stay the same,
the ratio of the mass of the souls and volume needs to stay
constant.
So:
A1) If hell is expanding at a slower rate
than the rate at which souls enter hell, then the temperature and
the pressure in hell will increase until all hell breaks loose.
Or
A2) If hell is expanding at a rate faster
than the increase in souls in hell, then the temperature and
pressure will drop until hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by
Theresa Banyan during freshman year, that "it will be a cold night
in hell before I sleep with you" and take into account the fact
that I still have NOT succeeded in having sexual relations with
her, then A2 cannot be true....Thus hell is exothermic.
The student, Tim Graham, got the only A.
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